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skin.lab. - Dementia

It was a change from my normal lately i have actually kept a smile on my face for most of the day. I did something that i had been holding off doing mainly because it was an experience i wanted to feel up close. I sent a gift, one that i thought would show how much i truely cared. the response i got was deep inside immaculate. Its weird the things a person does to try to show another that they are in there mind. From my point of view sometimes it feels like its the only thing a person can do when there has been distance. Distance... another word that i know all too well, it seems no matter how much i try not to be that far away, i always get pushed back to a perimeter guarded by a force field of gelatinous goo. You try to get threw it you just get stuck there. damnit, grab the dynamite, flame thrower, and concusion grenades use every means nessasary to find a way threw it, And even then end up at a loss. You say one thing wrong "bing bamm boom" stuck again! leaves you in a state of mind that even suicide would cure it. it would be like going to the grave knowing you had love in your grasp but only messed it up by letting go and never being able to feel its warmth again. Its one of those things i cant understand why people do that. Why totally give up, why end everything, i tend to keep in my mind "Maybe one day". Its all i can hold onto.