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Last night i finally got the chance to talk to the first like me n her used to do. It brought back alot of memories,especially of me n her together, the park, the beach, the bears, and jacks island above all else. ooh and never to forget the first time we meet n spent the night together. Damn me n her stayed up all night til like 4:00am just talking about everything. I respect her alot, shes been a good friend. I just hope she feels the same as i do. While i was engaged to the "Third" the "First" contacted me and wanted me to go see her. I didnt go because of my attachment to my fiance i wasnt gonna break my loyalty to her, but soon after was the breakup. Three days after that, i tried to contact the "First" but her roommate told me that she didnt live there anymore. She had went back to her husband again. I felt like i made a mistake, like maybe she was giving
a cry for help and needed a friend there. I could have used one my self at about that time myself but it was to late. In some ways im glad it turned out like that, but in other ways im glad it didnt. I know my feelings for the angel would have come threw just as they still do. In part of my mind i still wonder what it would have been like yanno, i guess time will tell. in me and the "First's" conversation tonight we seemed to talk about everything. She tells me i may have a chance to go see her soon. By putting the "Third" behind me maybe this will spark up a flame once more inside me. I know that is easier said than done but i have to do what i feel is right inside. Me and the "Third" havent talked in a while now. Im doin all i can to put the past behind me. Its harder than anyone knows. I try and make it seem as its no big thing but it still hurts.