Well, another day and another swing of the baseball bat to the temple. Its almost amazing how you can ask people to be honest with you, they agree and tell you "always". Then down the road like a ball and chain crashhhhh. The bits and peices of the things they told you that you thought was the truth become lies. Thats fine.., the past year has made me strong. Losing the things that mean the most is a learning curve they say, right? Its bullshit and you all know it. I curse the word love cuz its becoming more aparent that it don't exsist. Was a blind misconception thinking that there was one ounce left. At one time pleasing someone else was what made me happy inside. Now im to that point where i feel i need to please myself and fuck everyone else. Prove to me that im worth your time and i'll concider it, if not go fuck yourself because i dont want to know you. Am i in a bad mood? hell yeah i am.. I feel used all over again. In the entry before this one i said that, "my hope hasn't stopped" well that shimmer of light is sure to fade away again. Maybe one day things will change but right now i feel like im back in that shell. Still to this day my angel is the only one who understands though she isnt by my side. Wasted hours talking...talking but still trying to keep safe from the pain. Move forward, forget the bad but cherish the good memories. Turn off the lights and follow me down